Special Teams, Boogers, FUATs who might actually have helped us, and Draftees gone AWOL So the symmetry stopped at the weekend, our defence played well, our Brucie Bonus played like a vet (the fact it’s too easy to make a joke referring to tigers here) when needed, Caddy is back, our rookie o-line looks good, and Michael Clayton has a TD for the first time in 800 games. Yes, we could be 3-2 if we’d managed to hold out in the final moments of games, but we didn’t – we’re 1-4, and deservedly so. Straight after winning, the news hit the wire that our entire defence was on the trade block – the excuse I was waiting for was that after a solid performance, the players’ value was at a season high pre-deadline day, so we could get the most for them. I didn’t have to wait long. Anthony McFarland would you know, is in fact our entire defence, as he was the only person in the NFL that got traded for a 2nd rounder. Personally, based on ability, cap room and our recent performances in early rounds of the draft, this is more than we could have hoped for. The man called Booger has moved North to Indianapolis, where the Colts needed a run stopper, and one who’d fit in immediately. When you’ve been drafted by the man who is once again your coach, you shouldn’t have too many problems. A former first rounder, sounded out as our ready-made replacement to the legendary Warren Sapp, he has been out-performed on a regular basis by his back up, and now starter, Ellis Wyms. This was particularly highlighted on Sunday, with Wyms taking both our sacks. The extra 2nd round pick suggests to me that we are going with defence in the first round – and my Mel Kiper-esque prediction is a linebacker or end will be making their way to the Bay Area next Spring. Indeed, farewell Planet Simeon – it’s been emotional. And eventful. And, well, strange. One thing that’s rarely been mentioned, aside from Fuat and Fuat #2 (Harsh? American, Argentinean, both A...) is our special teams. As our kick returner, Michael Pittman is excellent. Admittedly, we’re rarely in the midfield zone or further up, let alone a TD, but being in and around the 30 is a decent place to start. Although a corner, which we do need with Brian Kelly’s nip/tuck season, I think Philip Buchanon has been signed to take on our punt returns. His statistics have been solid, and he has scored 3 punt-return TD’s – but – what about Mark Jones? How bad is his injury? He’d handled all our punt returns prior to missing the Bengals game, and wasn’t doing a terrible job at it. Maybe it’s just competition, and the opportunity to mix it up a little. Maybe there are things we’re unaware of. Either way, Buchanon is a good fit on special teams, and has past success - something we’ve been missing on Special Teams for a while! Field Goals. Bryant has hardly been in earth-shattering form this season, although, in fairness he has had to work with various snappers. Either way, most (ok, lots) of teams will go for a field goal on 4th down when they are within the 35, for a 50-odd yard field goal. Last season, Matt Bryant nailed a couple of these, but something seems to be wrong this year. Like not making a kick out of the 20-29 yard range. A kicker with a slightly stronger, more accurate leg would have probably seen us have won at least one more game than we actually have. Who knows, maybe even two games – which would have put us at 3-2, and still being in playoff discussions. However, if we did have a fighting chance of a spot in the post season, would Bucco Bruce II be playing? Would we have broken the bank for a veteran QB, like David Garrard at Jacksonville? Would we be have the opportunity to blood new players, to get them adapted and ready for the years to come? I doubt it. Maybe FUAT 2 is in fact more of a key player than we realise. Or maybe we’d still be 1-4! Maurice Stovall and Alan Zemaitis. The two draftees we acquired who made the most noise across the board. These were the two players who were going to be blooded early on and come in at the seasons end. Um, where are they? Sure, Stovall saw a TD catch erased against the Saints, but that would have been his first catch of the season. Zemaitis? Err….. The point I’m making is this. With nothing to lose this season, and everything to gain, why are we not playing these guys more? Are they not ready? Are our current crop of WR’s and CB’s that much better than them, putting them way, way down on the depth chart? Maybe, but they should have more playing time than what they’ve had. Who knows, come Sunday Stovall might get two TDs and Zemaitis might get two INT returns, rendering this piece moot. Realistically, they won’t however, neither will they, for the time being at least, get the playing time they need to fit in. Finally, Da Bears (again, look, sorry). Actually, make it The Cardinals. One word question – “How?” Three word answer – “You are crap” Thank you, good night, and thank goodness we don’t have Dennis Green. Or Art Shell. Or are the Raiders…DUHR. Richard Lowe October 2006