Searching The Memory Bank for a Bucs Touchdown “We’ll score again, don’t know where, don’t know when …. But I know we’ll score again some sunny daaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Just thought I’d lift a quick mantra from Dame Vera Lynn to highlight how I’m feeling these days. I’ve now sat and listened to 11 quarters of utter shite waiting for us to hit the end zone, and things got so bad last Sunday that I even got mildly excited when Tim Rattay was summoned from the very end of the bench – I really need to get out more. Even Gene seems to have lost his enthusiasm on Bucs radio and as Hardy has had no opportunity to yell woooo or hallelujah this month unless he starts celebrating three and outs with such gusto, the mood in the booth is no better and provides no relief. So when your offense is playing at High School level all you need is a trip to frigid Soldier Field to rectify things isn’t it! And just to top it off Sky have decided to televise it as well, cheers fellas. I think we may need snookers by half-time at this rate. A few things I think 1. I’m wondering how the Bucs “bulging” season ticket list is doing in light of events these past three months. I do love the way that once a team becomes successful in America, a season ticket waiting list – usually around 10 years long – magically appears as all the bandwagon jumpers get on board. I’d wager ours may be diminishing as these people move on to the Jags or Cowboys or whatever other current media darling has taken their fancy in our place. 2. I’m surprised Coach Gruden is persisting with Gradkowski this week and sending him to the sharks in Chicago, or maybe he actually doesn’t care that much anymore as the outcome of the game is hardly pivotal to us or him. I see zero benefit in the kid getting crucified at Soldier Field where he will be lucky to get out alive and with 0 on the scoreboard, based on our current form. 3. Quote of the week from Chucky this past Monday – “Carnell made some great one and two-yard runs, I mean great runs!” Just sit back for a second and consider the ridiculousness of this statement – even the legend that is John McKay would raise an eyebrow or two. What next, lengthy descriptions on the perfection of a Gradkowski interception perhaps? 4. Football's next great phrase to describe Cadillac and usurp the famous Zack Crockett one? “If you need a yard he’ll get you one or two with a great run; if you need three yards he'll get you one or two but it will of course be a great run.” 5. Pro-Bowl rosters are due out in the next fortnight – if anyone other than Ronde Barber even merits a mention from our team after this debacle I will be amazed. You do get the feeling the Derrick Brooks box is automatically ticked on some ballots but not even I would vote for the great man this season. 6. Anyone else starting to feel the growing apathy in Tampa towards the current regime, and the general feeling that maybe they aren’t the people to be rusted turn this thing around again. 7. If you can get hold of copy, take a look at the Brett Favre feature and interview in the Dec 4th Sports Illustrated – it’s once of the finest pieces of it’s kind I’ve ever read. 8. Is that really Defensive Guru Tony Dungy’s Colts who can’t stop the run to save their lives. Much as I’m rooting for him and them, they have no chance with that defense come the business end of the play-offs. 9. I think I’d like to wish Martin, Wayne and Phil good luck in the FFL Play-offs and also add my good wishes to the other eight owners in this crazy league. It’s been another hoot of a season guys, thanks for all the laughs and general abuse. We will know how things shape up if Pittman gets hit so hard on the opening kick-off, that he has to pay to get back in the stadium – if that happens I may deploy the off button and go and clean my coat. Apparently there is no truth to the rumour that the Bucs are currently issuing raffle tickets stating the time of the next Bucs TD – some bloke called The Ron & Ian show the other day claiming he had all but sealed the top prize as his said September 07 on it. I promise that’s the end of the cheap gags but you get the picture; we might as well laugh at how bad things have gotten as you just cannot take the Bucs very seriously these days. I could scheme against this offence – stick 10 men in the box, jam the receivers at the line and challenge the QB to beat with a deep pass; as Gradkowski can’t even put any zip on a 15 yard out pattern, there’s little else we can do but go backwards at present, especially as we only have one receiver who can actually catch the ball. We’ve got three games left and then an eight-month hiatus so we might as well have a look and a laugh at this stage; if you spent too much time analysing all the problems you’d end up in a state akin to a Terrell Owens wally-world existence. I just hope Josh Bidwell keeps his leg warm on Sunday as Id say we will be punting at least 10 times. Nice to read that our kick coverage teams are good this year, however we’ve got more than Devin Hester to worry about come Sunday. What positives can we look for? Perhaps some sort of contribution from a rookie (ie Zemaitis, Stovall, Trueblood or Joseph) to give us hope and Buccaneer Bruce NOT turning the ball over. That would represent something as the scoreboard will likely be an immaterial factor come the second half of this one. A garbage time TD from our Bucs will might just spread off wild celebrations in the Bromfield household, though these said shenanigans are more likely to have been inspired by Dame Stella Artois than any great hope of victory. Let's grit our teeth, and watch the horror unfold in front of us making sure we keep an eye on those Lions to see if they can move into a tie for that top draft pick. Bears to win 27-6 and that’s being optimistic Nod of Acknowledgement to - Paul Stewart founder and now former owner of the FFL’s The Borg or Top Gun (mercenary, sell-out their name franchise) who retired his team to become full-time Commissioner this past week. Thanks for making the whole thing tick Paul, and hope to see the re-emergence of your team sometime down the road, principally so The Clap can have another crack at actually beating you! Sports News Story I No Longer Give a Toss About and I know I’ve harped on this before but – Any player feature on the NBA and it’s current generation of multi-tattooed, father of six by four different women at the age of 23, gun crime convicted, rap album recording, can’t make a foul shot to save their lives generation. I actually strayed on to a story on Allen Iverson being almost traded this week, and was snoring by the third paragraph. Iverson’s a great player and it’s perhaps unfair to single him out but I used to love watching NBA games and now that league is as interesting as a car wash these days. How about running a story on an NBA player who has no tat’s, shoots 95% from the charity stripe, a completely clean criminal police record and goes home to his wife and kids every night in a vehicle other than a hummer, can this be done? Get in the Real World Award - The Twits Oh dear oh dear oh dear, 6-7 and the season collapsing all around you; Keyshawn waving his arms around and having no impact and Keith Barron considering going back to filming Duty Free again on ITV. It’s nice to see our neighbourhood village idiots in a funk as well these days isn’t it.