Kicking Ourselves in The Arse That one hurt, it really bloody did – almost as much as defeat to The Twits in fact. We had come to rely on Matt Bryant as a sure thing from 45 yards and in, so when he stepped up last Sunday I don’t think any of us doubted we’d tie it up and likely head for OT, but sadly the shank to the right meant a heartbreaking loss in this 2005 Buccaneer season sponsored by Valium. You can slice and dice the Bears game any way you want but it basically comes down to two plays. In a low scoring affair decided by a three point margin, if you turn the ball over on your own one-yard line, and miss a chip shot field goal that my granny could convert then you aren’t going to win plain and simple. That’s the bitter pill to swallow, as we gave away 10 points right there which determined the outcome. Knickers to the Bears resurgence and bollocks to all the analysis out there…we kicked ourselves in the arse pure and simple, nuff said. Onto more pressing issues that do require attention, namely where the hell has Michael Clayton disappeared to in our offense? Through 11 games he has zero TD’s, zilch 100 yard games and little or no impact as an option in our attack. It’s not so much his lack of production that is the surprise, more the speed at which he has disappeared off the radar, which can be put down to a lot more than the dreaded sophomore jinx. Is he carrying an injury that not only limits his separation ability, but also his speed itself? A few things I think 1. The Czar of the Endzone now has six TDs and a two pointer to his credit after once more punching it in last week. Is there a better back inside the five-yard line in the NFL right now? 2. I think that when I looked at our schedule when it was released back in April, the 3 road games in a row stuck out a mile. It’s now looms like a monster on our shoulder, and for what it’s worth I thing the key to it all is the first game in the trifecta – a win in Louisiana and things look promising and momentum can be established, whilst a loss would make the home comforts of RJS appear further than ever away. 3. I think Matt Bryant is now very well versed in the short inglorious journey from penthouse to shitehouse, and can probably retrace every step in his nightmare’s 4. I think Michael Irvin takes the rest of the world for complete idiots with his explanations as to how he seems to find himself regularly in the company of crack pipes, cocaine or hookers. Don’t tell me Michael, yet again there’s a perfectly logical explanation no doubt. 5. I think I bet Steve Mariucci now wishes he got the Bucs job back in January 2002. The luckiest person still in a job in America is Matt Millen - Mariucci has carried the can, but the stench in Detroit eminates from the man with the dodgy moustache. Until Millen departs things won’t get better in Motown. 6. FFL Note – why is it whenever my Cosmic Clap face up to The Hurried Vikings, 90% of The Clap’s roster turns into the second coming of Alvin Harper and disappear from the stat sheet and their NFL teams for the week? That’s one for Jack Malone and the Without a Trace team to investigate. 7. I think it’s about time we used Alex Smith down in the Red Zone again. Two TD catches in week 1 highlighted what an advantage having a 6-5 target was – lets have so more please and go back to this freak of an athlete, there isn’t a Linebacker or DB in the league who can outsize him if the ball is put up for grabs in his area 8. I think Jon Gruden would be a much happier coach if any one of our other receivers, namely Clayton, Hilliard or Shepherd could provide a consistent level of production to pick up some of the slack from Joey Galloway who currently dons a cape most Sundays, in order to prop up our passing attack. I don’t know and nobody bar the player and coaches themselves can answer this question but it’s certainly an issue worth raising given the skills he showed in 2004. A productive Michael Clayton alongside the 2005 Joey Galloway model would give us a 1-2 punch that can rival anybody in the NFL, but sadly it just isn’t happening at present. On the positive side of things we lost a very close one, and have only really been blown out once this season, otherwise we have been in every game right up until the death throes of the 4th quarter. We’ve been a hell of a lot more competitive than most people thought, and if we maintain our current progress and outlook there’s no reason why we can’t still be playing in January – and I know we have week 17 in January as well before anybody points this out. A Wild Card berth is a genuine possibility, especially given that two of the divisions in our conference (West and Central) are as weak as a Michael Irvin’s latest defense story. Dropping back to 7-4 need not be the death knell on our surprising play-off hopes as long as we rectify the damage quickly, and the opportunity for this comes this week against The Saints in Baton Rouge. For some reason we seem to struggle against this lot no matter how poor they seem to be, but as important games go this one is simply a must have for the Bucs. If we fail here things may go south very quickly, with trips to The Twits and perennially injury troubled (but oh so valiant and brave) Patriots upcoming. Getting to 8-4 sets us up for the run-in and protects us against at least 1 defeat, whilst dropping to 7-5 at this stage really kills us. It may be a strange atmosphere with a sparse crowd at a big old college stadium but as long as we emerge with the victory I don’t give a monkey’s how it’s achieved, 10-9 … 42-41 …whatever, just get the W for christ’s sake. It would also be nice if we could win comfortably for once so I don’t have to spend the 3 hours of the game with my stomach in complete knots and 3 strides from the restroom, but that might be asking too much. Can we do it? At the risk of sounding like Bob the Builder, Yes we can to the tune of 20-16 – god I hope I’m right for once. Nod of Acknowledgement to… The surgeon at Royal Oldham Hospital who is repairing my left knee today – go easy on me please! Get in the Real World Award… It can only be Mr Michael Irvin, who’s Hall of Fame chances diminish with every accidental brush with the law that this guy has. Talented receiver, yes….annoying television jerk, definitely…….an unfortunate man who just accidentally gets into the scrapes he does, do me a favour!