Week 3 in the NFL
Welcome to the column that is still recovering from throwing up over his computer screen on Sunday when that ugly old troll Laura Okmin appeared on it. How funny is it that this site's editor got a friend suggestion on Facebook to contact her because of his other American media friendships?
First in the firing line are the people who set the ticket prices for the Wembley International Series game. Who double up arrranging the English international cricket calendar in their spare time. It's called "let's fleece people for as much as we can" or banking to the uneducated.
Wembley only just sold out for the 49ers v Broncos' game last year and in spite of the lockout putting everyone two months behind schedule, up went the prices for tickets by double digit percentages and then the NFL sat back and waited for the money to roll in.
Except it didn't and it isn't. The game is a fair way from selling out, pretty apt really when you consider it's a Buccaneer home game. Which all goes to prove that British NFL is nothing more than a one-off novelty in terms of attendance and any thoughts of a London NFL franchise are even more bollocks than a Simeon Rice comeback.
NFL Redzone - nice idea but why? Just seeing nothing but touchdowns and action is like eating nothing but chocolate all the time. We all know the kids who do that - they're the ones who wind up so fat that everyone else rips the piss out of them. Bit like real NFL fans and those people who watch six hours of Redzone really.
Fake play of the week, no the season, no all-time, the one the Bears ran at the end of their loss to Green Bay. Click here for the link to watch it but you can bet every special teams' coach will be reminding his players about this one from now on.
From our Uxbridge correspondent comes an interesting observation - how Atlanta Falcons' owner Arthur Blank looks like a cryogenically stored Walt Disney. His choice of suit and tie definitely belongs in the 1950s.
If Week 2 was the time for Simeon Rice's scheduled media appearance to complain about not being in the NFL, then Week 3 was Jeff George's turn. The petulant mouthy former quarterback retired from/was kicked out of (delete where appropriate) the league so long ago that Ronde Barber was a rookie but still thinks he can play for the Indianapolis Colts because he went to Indiana around the time of the Great Depression.
For those recent Buckettes who don't remember George, he even made Jeff Garcia look like a role model team player. Jeff, go and sit over there with Simeon and play with the green crayons. The pens and pencils are for the real good children.
And finally, this Monday is Jon Gruden's return to Tampa as an ESPN pundit. Over/under on the first comment about "I never had a quarterback like Josh Freeman" is about six minutes into the first quarter. And who's fault was that coach?